Communication breakdown during divorce
Communication is often one of the first things to breakdown when a couple separate, but communication also is the key to keeping a divorcing couple out of court. However, the loss of love, trust and respect which often accompany divorce can make it incredibly difficult for a couple to talk, rather than end up in yet another argument.
This is why specialist family lawyers recognise that “the law” on divorce is only part of the solution to helping a couple move on with their lives. The need to help a couple have a constructive and non-confrontational conversation is crucial, especially if they also have children together.
Therefore, family lawyers can work with experts in language and dialogue, known as “family consultants”. This is not therapy nor an attempt to help a couple reconcile their marriage (we recommend you go to RELATE for that sort of help).
Family consultants are trained to understand the whole picture and who will listen without judgment. Divorcing couples can meet in an environment where they feel safe to reveal their thoughts, feelings and fears, knowing it is all totally confidential.
Then, even when the couple still disagree on key issues like who gets the house or where their children will live, the family lawyers working with a family consultant can more quickly (and cheaply) help the couple reach a compromise and keep their dispute out of the much more expensive and stressful court system. To achieve this, sometimes, the family lawyers will meet in the same room with the couple “around the table”, to ensure the focus remains on how the couple can fairly share their financial assets.
Non-Court Dispute Resolution (NCDR) in divorce
It is important to be aware that prior to applying to court, unless there is urgency or domestic abuse, then the court will need to know that the couple have tried to resolve matters using other means, which the court refers to as Non-Court Dispute Resolution. If Non-Court Dispute Resolution options have not been used then the court could adjourn your case, to encourage you both to try to use NCDR, or they could consider whether the person who did not wish to engage in NCDR should pay towards the other person’s costs.
Other ways our family lawyers can help divorcing couples out of court (NCDR) are:
- Collaborative Law: Collaborative law involves trying to resolve the issues face to face at meetings where the couple and their Collaborative Lawyers will be present. We all work as a team agreeing to work in an amicable, honest and open way to try to help you both resolve issues, without the need for formal court proceedings. If an agreement is reached, it can be turned into a legally binding document.
- Mediation: Working with a “family mediator”. Our family lawyers can refer the couple to a family mediator. A mediator is a neutral person who will meet with a couple, usually without the family lawyers being present. The family mediator is not there to impose a decision on the couple but will try to help identify a common ground which can lead to an agreement. The family lawyers will then record that agreement within a legally binding document.
- Arbitration: This involves the couple agreeing to use arbitration. The couple will agree the arbitrator, or the arbitrator can be chosen for them. The couple will choose whether they want the arbitrator to make a decide about the issues simply based on considering specific documents or by hearing orally from the couple and their lawyers. The arbitrator’s decision is binding, just like a judgment from the court. The advantage of arbitration over court proceedings is that the couple can chose the arbitrator, the timetable, format and venue.
Choosing the right approach to resolve disputes
Our family lawyers will help you look at the right option for you, to try to resolve the issues between you and your former partner, hopefully without formal court proceedings.
The key thing for a divorcing couple to remember, is that the divorce process itself does not help resolve financial issues or child arrangements. It is these arguments which can often end up with a divorcing couple in a very expensive, long and stressful Family Court process. However, most divorcing couples can avoid this, by instructing family lawyers like those at Harold G Walker Solicitors who are committed to keeping couples out of court whenever possible.
Speak to a Family Lawyer
Harold G Walker Solicitors provides expert family law advice and support to clients across Dorset, including Wimborne, Broadstone, Christchurch Ferndown and Verwood. Our experienced family lawyers can guide you through divorce, mediation, collaborative law and other non-court dispute resolution options, helping you reach practical and cost-effective outcomes. If you need clear legal advice on separating or resolving financial or child arrangement issues, we are here to help.